2 and a half

Cursive

5-year-olds who write in cursive rock.

Clifford shows up again

Audrey checked out her second ever library book. Apparently she's got a thing for Clifford - this time it's Clifford's First Snow Day. She's jumping the gun on winter but we'll cut her some slack. I love that Audrey loves her school library.

Audrey's first ever library book

Now that Audrey is a big kindergartner, she checks out books at the school library. She's super excited about it and couldn't stop telling us all about how her library is set up. Her first ever book to be checked out: Clifford Keeps Cool. Now that's a fitting a book for late summer.

The daddy-daughter date

My little girl wants to go on a date with Daddy. What can I say? I'm thrilled!

We've been talking about it for weeks and just haven't been able to get it scheduled (my fault, of course - her schedule is wide open and mine isn't, and she's been patiently waiting for me). She's very curious about what we'll do and where we'll go, and has lots of suggestions. First it was dinner and dancing and then it was dinner and a movie (she has obviously figured out what a date is) and then tonight it was... Michael's. As in the craft store. 

Michael's? For a moment I was stumped but then realized that's perfect. I couldn't have come up with a more genious idea myself.

Audrey loves arts and crafts, and today her preschool friend Eve told her she can get lots of "jewels" (a.k.a. colorful beads and other sparkly objects) from a store called Michael's so that she can make lots of great artwork. Now that Audrey has discovered an arts and crafts paradise (she had lots of inquiries this evening about whether I'd heard of Michael's, whether I'd been there, and what it was like), she is dying to go to there for the Daddy-Daughter date. Michael's + dinner, that is.

She wouldn't let me forget about dinner, and she wants to go to her favorite - Ted's Montanta Grill. Why Ted's? Two things. Grilled cheese, and these waxy twisty bendy colored stix they give to kids to make mini sculptures out of. Ok, I like to make sculptures out of them too. And if they didn't make your fingers so waxy I'd like them even more. But I also like the menu - good burgers.

For a moment I was concerned Michael's would close before dinner was over but I checked online and Michael's is open until 9pm Mon-Sat, so we're good. Dinner around 6:30 and Michael's around 7:30 should work fine.

How did this all come about? Here's how:

Audrey's school held a Father-Daughter dance on Feb. 12 (yes, I know that was awhile ago - please cut me some slack) and we missed it. We were headed to the mountains to go skiing that Friday evening and Audrey, who never misses a beat, asked, "Daddy, when are we going to my school dance?" I realized in that moment that the dance was the following evening and we'd be away. My mind raced while Suzanne, Audrey and Grace looked on, awaiting a reply that at once needed to be clever, well thought out and provide a satisfying answer to Audrey's seemingly innocuous but rather difficult question.

I decided to take the straight-forward approach and admit I forgot, followed by a solution that would be even more fun and attractive. "It's tomorrow night, Audrey... I'm SO sorry we're going to miss it, and I just realized that, but Mommy and Daddy wanted to take you skiing. That's fun too, right? BUT, to make up for it, Daddy would like take you on a SPECIAL date that's just for me and you, and we can go wherever you'd like. How does that sound?"

She thought hard about what she had heard, as she always does. "Do you mean we can go on a date, just me and you, and NOT Grace, and we could go wherever we want, even maybe dancing, and maybe dinner too, and it would just be us, NOT Grace, just me and Daddy, and it can be a date?"

"Yep," I said.

She beamed - all was good and the issue was resolved. I told her she could think about where we'd go and what we'd do and I'd be open to whatever she wanted.

Now it's just a question of finding an evening that works, and I'm putting pressure on myself to get the ball rolling. Hopefully this week we'll get to go.

It will be a special evening and, as I think about it, other dads should do this too! Maybe there should even be a national Daddy-Daughter Date Day. What a great opportunity to enjoy a special evening with your little girl. Don't you think?

When your kids get older

The other evening I was watching a video from a post I wrote last December. It was a video I created using a platform someone created that allows Santa to deliver a personalized message to your child. You get to customize things a bit and then the software does the rest. I would say it's quite good because the video comes off pretty authentic.

At one point Santa, as he looks at his book of kids who've been naughty and nice, looks up at the camera and says, "Audrey, I see that you are 3 years old," in a calm, elderly tone. After he said that I started to tear up. Audrey was 3 last year? Couldn't be. She's nearly 5, it seems. Grace, who was sitting in my lap and at the ripe old age of 2, looked up and couldn't figure out what had happened. It wasn't like she had lost her pacie or anything.

But for me it was the realization that my little girl was no longer 3 and in fact seems quite a bit older these days. How fleeting it really is. My mind has already become focused on the fact that she'll soon be 5. I literally couldn't control my emotions and, last night at dinner with my wife and my sister, I tried to tell them about what happened and I got teared up again. And I never tear up. But I just can't help it.

We kept most of Audrey's clothing for the possibility of another child and now Grace is wearing what Audrey wore when she was 2. That makes me emotional too. You wouldn't think you'd remember the outfits but you do. And on the one hand you're happy and on the other you're nostalgic.

I think that so many parents never live in the moment and really experience what it's like at each age because they're focused on what's next. We're all like that - every day I'm focused on what's ahead, forgetting what just happened. And with kids it's easy to focus on getting through the day or the week vs. really experiencing the here and now.

When I walk into the house after work and it's a mess, it's easy to get frustrated that the girls have destroyed it. It's easy to focus on the fact that it took maybe an hour to clean and 5 minutes for them to mess up. But when they're in college and the house is quiet and all is spotless, is it going to be better? I kind of doubt it. Different, for sure, and perhaps a bit lonely.

When they're older they're not going to want mommy or daddy all the time. They'll want little to do with mommy or daddy, in fact, and everything to do with their friends and Facebook and other social activities. For Audrey it seems that's right around the corner.

When your kids get older it can be tough. 

(Don't get me started about when they're teenagers - that's for another post.)

 

Anxiety and worry

It can be an eye-opener when the innocence of your children begins to slip away. Their wondrous, unassuming, care-free nature becomes increasingly crowed out by things like anxiety and worry - general awareness.

During the past several months Audrey has developed a fear of being left alone, for example. She is terrified of being left in the car by herself, for example, even though it has never and will never happen to her. She nervously wants to know where we are if she realizes she is in a room alone, even when we are one room over. At bedtime she is struggling to fall asleep by herself.

I've noticed that Audrey also feels embarrassment all of a sudden. Everyone knows little kids run around naked and could care less, for example. Audrey isn't so inclined to do this any longer when strangers are around and has expressed as much. Grace, on the other hand, at 1 and a half, will happily wander naked among people she has never seen before.

Yes, getting older has its consequences. I'm just not sure I expected it quite so soon. Audrey, to her credit, remains one of the most spirited and fun-loving kids I know. At her birthday we had games and events planned back-to-back and, when it came time for the kitchen dance party, she was bouncing around the room in the most buoyant and radiant way while most of her friends stood by.

Her spirit and Grace's is what we adults should strive for. Damn the feelings of anxiety and embarrassment. It's nothing but repeatedly experiencing fear in advance.

First piece of gum

Your first piece of gum is a big deal. It's a rite of passage of sorts, or so it seems.

For her 4th birthday Audrey got to chew her first piece - I believe it was Wrigley's Spearmint but am not sure. It wasn't a full piece, just half. And she chewed it so long that I'm sure she must have forgotten that gum doesn't dissolve like candy does. Clearly her her goal was two-fold: to show everyone she was chewing gum and to savor the experience of growing up. Another milestone achieved. By the time she deposited the tasteless rubbery glob into the trash it was bed time.

I've been trying to lay the groundwork to restrict gum-chewing on a regular basis - after all, stepping onto a glob of the stuff or finding some underneath the table is supposed to happen at places like carnivals and baseball games and parks, only. I don't want it to happen in our household. Nor do I want to find it embedded in rugs or couches. She chewed another piece today which means so far I've failed to restrict usage - right now I can only hope she'll be responsible about it.

That's the pleasure and the plight of being a parent - watching your kids revel in new opportunities and privileges, and worrying about what they will bring.

Teething sucks

It does. Suck, I mean. Not because I'm going through it, of course, but because Grace is. And not just in a routine sort of way. She's got TWO molars coming in at the top of her mouth at the same time. The doc says that's not all that normal. Not rare, but not usual. And the poor thing has been unhappy for a couple weeks about it. 

To validate what the doc said I consulted BabyCenter, which says that molars are usually the last teeth to come in and that it generally doesn't occur until age 2 or so. So Grace is just a YEAR early then. Either that or BabyCenter is wrong. On the one hand I can say my child is an early developer. On the other I can say she's in pain.

Anyway Grace is cranky more than normal. She cries more when she's tired because she can't deal with the discomfort. She wakes up earlier than she normally does. She's harder to put to sleep. She's more finicky about eating. And she wants to chew on stuff she's not supposed to chew on. Oh, and she produces some serious messes in her diaper which we usually discover when we pick her up out of her crib in the morning.

The latter is worth spending a moment on, whether you like to hear about it or not, because it's an interesting subject of debate among the so-called "baby experts." Most would debate the idea that teething causes diarrhea. My opinion? The baby experts are either not experts or have never had babies. Because Grace and Audrey have both gone through the same thing and have exhibited the same symptom. 

And we're not merely talking about "mushy" poop or anything. It leaks through the sides of her diaper and leaks onto her footsie-pajamas and rides up her back. And it smells worse than normal. It's no big deal to us - we're her parents and we'll do anything for her - but that must be so uncomfortable for little Grace. If only she'd do it during the day and we could address things before the leakage and such occurred.

We change her as quickly as we can but it's not just an exercise in changing a diaper. Her entire outfit requires changing. And she often needs a bath. And when you're in a hurry in the morning that puts some time pressure on things. To mitigate the situation a friend suggested moving up a diaper size. Not a bad idea but the same sh*t happens (pun intended). 

Yes, getting two molars at the same time is a powerful thing. At least the rest of her teeth will be a breeze.

Moments

Holy crap.

I've been trying to re-format my blog and it's incredibly trying. I swear I'm doing things right but when I hit the "refresh" button... well... it just doesn't quite work. But I'm getting there.

Do you like the lollipops?

There's a definite tradeoff between coding and writing. I much prefer the latter and will leave the former to all the geeks out there when I'm able.

Anyway I could continue on for days about dealing with five kids in a household when you only have two of your own. (See the prior post here.) It's like going from zero to sixty in three seconds. Like eating a 16 oz. steak when you've been a vegetarian for five years. LIke running a marathon when you've only trained for a 5k. LIke jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. Well, maybe not the last thing. But you get it.

I want to tell you this: that Audrey is sleeping in her own bed and going to bed at 8pm or so for the first time in a long time. There was a bit of a co-dependent relationship going on where she wanted to sleep in our bed and we'd let her sleep in ours because we didn't want to deal with the problems it would cause if we said "no" and ultimately we kind of liked having her sleep there because, after all, she's three and when on earth during the rest of our lives are we going to be able to sleep next to our precious daughter than now? Soon she'll be dissing us in favor of being independent.

But in the end it is good. Routine is good. And I can tell she's happier for having a routine.

Meanwhile Grace has moved on to hemp milk from formula as of two days ago. You're going to say, "hemp milk?" Yes, you heard me. And it has no THC for those wondering. None. Cow milk is ok but kind of gross when you really boil it down (don't really boil it). Hemp milk is full of good things for a kid and you can check it out at Whole Foods and it's much less expensive than formula. Grace is still adjusting but she'll get used to it.

Grace also likes so say, "Noooooooo," in the cutest little voice. I wouldn't normally like her saying "no" but it's so fun to hear her say it that I don't mind. Generally it's when something pisses her off and I'm in favor of her standing up for herself, even if it's against me.

Audrey said to me today: "Dad, your yellow chapstick is like Emily's." "Really?" I said. "Who's Emily?" She reminded me that Emily was our babysitter from more than a year ago. "You remember her chapstick?" I asked. "Yes!" she said. "It was exactly like the one you just bought." 

This detail is one nobody would normally remember. My father, after spending a couple days around Audrey a couple weeks ago, asked me, "Do you think Audrey has a photographic memory?" Apparently he had experienced the same sort of thing. It is certainly possible - I've never met anyone, including any kids, who can remember things like she does. Except maybe my wife.

I'm trying to learn to live in the moment so I can really appreciate all these things. The chaos of watching others' kids. The evolution of a baby who drinks breast milk and then formula and then milk you buy at the store. The verbal and cognitive progressions. The times your child impresses you beyond words. 

Because it is easy to neglect them. And in time these moments will be forgotten.

First steps, squeaky shoes and a fly swatter

Grace took her first steps! Yesterday, as I was sitting on the floor with her, she decided to stand up and walk. It was only a step, but it was spectacular. The only problem was my wife wasn't there with me so I had to break the news that the big event had occurred in her absence. But then that evening we got her to walk three steps total so that made up for it. And the hand-me-downs she wears that make a squeak when she walks make it that much better.

In other news, Audrey licked a fly swatter. Yuck.

Watershed moments

Life has a limited number of watershed moments and watching your baby take her first steps is one of them. Audrey took her first steps on her first birthday; Grace isn't there yet but for the past couple of weeks she has been standing up and raising her arms in the air to show off what she can do. She thinks it's pretty funny really - until she loses her balance and plunks back down on her rear end.

For now Grace has to resort to crawling to get around and has mastered that for sure. Her army crawl of two months ago is gone - she now gets around so fast that in a blink of an eye she's moved from doing something she's supposed to be doing to examining an electrical wall outlet on the other side of the room or examining the microwave when it's on or attempting the climb the stairs.

In fact a few weeks ago she did climb the stairs before anyone realized it. Our stairs are hardwood so that's a definite no-no and we even have a gate, but any parent knows that a mobile baby can be hard to keep track of and can elude even the most preventive measures. Maybe we shouldn't have worried because she climbed them Dan Osman-style, taking no more than a minute to scale the first section, turn the corner and then keep going. When we saw her she was on the top step, looking down and laughing. Not so funny for us though - carpeting the stairs has moved up a notch or two on the to-do list.

As I think about it there is a concentration of watershed moments in the first year or so of a baby's life - another one is her first word. It's amazing to consider that the utterance of a word (or even a sound that resembles a word) creates so much excitement. Humans, after all, are social beings and it should be no surprise that we can speak. But an important moment that first word is.

Audrey's first word was "hi;" Grace's first was "daddy" (or at least a word that sounded like "daddy"). I know, I know. In Grace's case I'm flattered. It's pretty cool. But I think it would have been "mommy" if not for the fact that "m" is a harder letter to pronounce when you're less than 1 year old. And she can now say "ma ma" with no problem.

Now that she's done that though all her subsequent sounds have been very important but slightly less captivating. You can say "one" to her, for example, and she'll say, "doooo!" (meaning two). Or you can ask her to say "thank you" and she'll say something along the lines of "deek doo." And she can wave and blow kisses at people too. All are great tricks when we have people over but none have the same luster of her first word. If she's as verbal as her sister was she'll be capable of having conversations in no time.

These watershed moments have a way of staying with you. If you must know, my first word was allegedly "briefcase." I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit it but that's what my father carried to and from work every day. Nobody uses briefcases any longer and I imagine if I'd been born this year my first word might be iPhone or something because that's what my father carries now. In any case, I hear about it.

There will never be this time again

Tonight my wife and I came home from a full day away from home to see Audrey and Grace. 

Lucy, the babysitter, had Grace in bed asleep and was reading Audrey books in her bedroom. Audrey jumped into my arms and hugged me when she saw me and then asked where Mommy was and when Mommy showed up she did the same. Audrey informed us she had had some Oreos and two juice boxes that day, as she always does when she gets treats, and we were fine with it. 

Lucy and the girls had clearly had a successful day. And a one-and-only day. Because there will never be this day again. Tomorrow will be a different day with a different flavor and a different beginning, middle and end.

Audrey and I walked out to the porch to blow giant bubbles from her oversized bubble wand. I would blow the bubbles, carefully trying to make them as large as I could without blowing them up, and then send them on their way, across the air, for Audrey to chase. She would either pop them or they would hit the grass first. Or, if she was quick enough, she'd grab them the moment they left the bubble wand.

When we came inside Audrey ran downstairs to play with Mommy in the basement. She has her red tent set up down there adjacent to a toddler-sized play house such that she really has merged the two to make a bigger house. And it is filled with plastic balls (the kind you find in bouncy castles) and a pretend stove and a miniature baby cradle and the like. And she invites everyone who accompanies her downstairs to visit her house. Clearly Mommy has missed her little girl because they are still down there as I write.

Her cash register and computer sit outside the house. The register has fake money colored red, green and purple but is mixed with real bills and plenty of US coins which she has managed to save herself. Her computer is a plastic box that needs to be plugged into a real computer to work but it has the keys and other buttons that suffice for pretending. Usually we play "store" with these machines after playing in her play house. Stuff tends to be pretty expensive at the store but fortunately it's (mostly) play money.

Meanwhile Grace's baby monitor emits a low static in the kitchen which means she is sound asleep and hopefully dreaming about luscious baby bottles. Kudos to Lucy for doing a great job getting one baby to bed while the other was inevitably causing a distraction.

What's worth reflecting on is that there will never be this day again. The time when Grace is asleep in a crib will pass; the time when Audrey wants books read to her at bedtime will end. One day we won't come home to a home full of babies - one day we will come home to an empty house. There will be no babysitters, no tales of the sugary foods that were eaten that day, no bubbles in the front yard.

It makes you want to embrace the present. Because there will never be this time again.

"Hi" part 2

We've been bragging to people about how Audrey wrote the word "hi" on a piece of paper the other day. Meanwhile, Grace is learning how to wave "hi" to people - she does so by curling and then extending her fingers to someone. Her palm always faces inward so technically she is waving "hi" to herself but we get the gist.

Standing

Yesterday evening I was stunned when I stood Grace up and she seemed to be balancing on her own. I let go for a second or so, then a few more, and she stood, even if only for a few moments, without my help. She turned 9 months old 3 days ago... Audrey walked on her 1st birthday. Will Grace do it sooner?

The future

When you're a dad with little daughters it's hard not to think about what's to come. Not next year, but in 10, 15 and then 20 years - adolescence, boyfriends, dating, wanting to stay out later, eventually going to parties, picking friends, doing well in school, making the right choices and (gasp) getting married.

It's hard on a dad. All he has to do is think about how he was as a boy and then a teen and then a twenty-something and it makes you want to lock your girls in a room until they are 30. No, 40. And if the guys come a-knocking you'll have your shotgun near the door.

When my bother got married I was impressed with the bravery of his soon-to-be father-in-law's speech. Near the end he held up a bottle of wine he had kept for many years that he had intended to open at his daughter's wedding. But instead he held up the bottle and said, "I was going to open this tonight but I've got a better idea. Let's save it for a christening."

There you have it - dads get past all this somehow. It probably helped that his daughter dated my brother for nearly a decade before Brian popped the question - he had lots of time to get used to it. But still - I'd imagine the discomfort never goes away completely. 

At least there's time between now and then for me to get ready.

First tooth

Gracie has her first tooth coming in and she's handling it like a champ. There is minimal crying and a low drool ratio - so far at least. Maybe it depends on the tooth - this one's easy, the next one is hard. Or maybe she's just a tough little 8-month old. Can't wait - she's about to look like a little pirate. We'll have to fit her for an eye patch.

Army crawl

Grace seems to have entered the army. Or at least she moves like it.

She's mobile now but it's not crawling - it's dragging herself across the floor, arm over arm with legs in tow. Like an army soldier.

Let's say there's a red ball 10 feet away. A month ago she would have stared at it, perhaps wishing she had it in her grasp. Now, in a matter of 10-20 seconds, she's got it.

She makes it look good - her form and her speed are things to be marveled at for an 8-month-old. The surface is irrelevant - carpet, hard wood, tile, she conquers it all. Stairs remain a challenge but that's a good thing.

It's a whole new ball game for mom and dad. A stationary baby is an asset, a mobile one a potential liability. The days of confidently placing her on a bed or changing table or some other elevated object are gone - there's risk in all of that now. And small objects can't be left lying around (pay attention, Audrey) - Grace can now go get them and put them in her mouth.

The real crawl is right around the corner.

Tongue

Grace has discovered her tongue. It was always there, of course, but she's figured out that it's fun to play with. It's constantly hanging out of her mouth for example. Remember those pictures of Michael Jordan dunking the basketball from the free-throw line, tongue extended? It's kind of like that. But a lot cuter.

Sometimes she looks like a little gardener snake, slipping it in and out repeatedly. Sometimes, when she's focused on something else, her tongue will dance around like it has a mind of its own. In this sense she's kind of like Daddy - when he draws or writes or does something creative, his tongue tends to do the same.

And sometimes it looks like she's eating something. Or chewing gum even. But it's just her tongue.

I don't recall Audrey doing that. She was more inclined to make strange shapes with her lips. But for Grace that little muscle in her mouth is always working.

Rollover

Only parents of young babies are going to find this even remotely interesting.

Grace almost rolled over yesterday.

One moment she was lying on her back and the next she was wrenching her head around, face mashed into the carpet, trying to get her torso to follow. At first I thought she was trying to see the TV, which she routinely does and we repeatedly prevent, but this was no attempt to view that glowing screen on the wall - her grunting clearly indicated she was trying hard to roll over.

The problem was her arm. Her right arm stopped her. No matter how hard she torqued her little head around (her neck can twist so much it looks like her head is on backward) and kicked her legs she couldn't figure out what to do with that last remaining appendage. 

She tried for a long time. I wanted to give her that final little push but that would have been cheating. Finally she rolled back onto her back, tired and frustrated. Admittedly I was a bit relieved because her twisted neck was freaking me out a bit.

Excited about the development, I told my wife what had happened when she got home. She told me she had seen Grace try it as well but got stuck in similar fashion. We talked about it for awhile, since it's things like this that get you excited as a parent.

Next thing we know she'll be walking. Go Grace go.

Destruction

Sometimes, 2-year-olds are all about destruction.

Let's say dad just picked up the DVDs and put them nicely onto a shelf. What does Audrey do? She knocks them all back onto the floor.

Saltine crackers from the pantry? She takes a handful of them, mashes them up and throws them all over the place.

Raw spaghetti? She breaks the strands into little bits and throws them across the carpet.

Sidewalk chalk? She breaks it.

Freshly raked leaves in a pile in the yard, waiting to be bagged? She spreads them around again in the grass.

Remote controls? She throws them down on the hardwood floor to watch the batteries scatter all over the place.

Living room couch? She takes a pen to it. Better yet, a black permanent marker.

A cup of water? She simply refuses to have a lid on her cup, and instead of drinking it she tosses the entire cup across the floor.

Scrabble? She takes the entire game, dumps the contents on the floor and walks away to play with something else.

Cell phone? She throws it on the sidewalk.

And that's just a sampling of examples.

I love her to death, of course. It's just another aspect of the evolution of a baby into an adult and fortunately most of us get it out of our system pretty quickly. Hopefully Audrey will before she throws a golf ball through my TV screen.