This is not real. But it could be. So be a good parent and then hope you're lucky.
---
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad." With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and mom.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of her piercings, tattoos, tight clothes and the fact that she is quite a bit older than me. But it's not only the passion... She's pregnant.
I know that's big news but Stacy says we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and also trading it with people who live nearby for even stronger, more eye opening drugs. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She's such a good person and deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know our kids.
Love, Your Son
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.
