As a dad one of the things I have the toughest time with is letting my girls cry while they're in bed. My reaction is to go pick them up and find out what is wrong and give them something to soothe them like a bottle or rocking them in a chair or walking them around in my arms. And it doesn't matter whether that's at bedtime or at 3am.
Call it the "cry it out" method or the "Ferber method" or whatever you want - I'm not so good at it. And a dad should be good at this, right? A mom is the one who's supposed be the bleeding heart. But that's a stereotype as far as I'm concerned - dads are stereotyped in so many ways. A post on that later, perhaps.
I hear the slightest cry or cough or coo in the middle of the night and wake up instantly, wondering if something's up. There's a practical side to it though - if Grace is crying I'll be laying there for at least 15-20 minutes listening to it, anticipating the next wail, expecting I'll have to get up eventually, and then at that point have to make a bottle and rock her back to sleep. That's probably 40 minutes. But if I get up right away I'll save that 20 minutes and be back to sleep that much faster.
The doc doesn't much like that though. She says Grace should have no issues falling back asleep and if we're getting up in the middle of the night to soothe her it's promoting bad habits. I like our pediatrician - she's good with Audrey and Grace and knows what she's doing - but that's easy for her to say. She doesn't have to listen to it and lose sleep over it.
And then I think - will Audrey or Grace be mad in the morning if we've let them cry and carry on before bedtime because they wanted to stay up? Will they remember or even think about it? But the thing about babies and toddlers is they don't know what's good for them. Hell, adults don't know what's good for them. It's a parent's job to say "it's time for bed." And the fact they are protesting is because they are tired. And if you give in things snowball.
If only they had sleep obedience training for babies and toddlers - because falling asleep is a learned behavior, you know. But letting them fall asleep themselves is a learned behavior for parents too I guess. I'm working on it, and if I'm successful the girls inevitably will have forgiven me for letting them cry because they are so focused on the adventures of the day ahead.
